WENDI AARONS (Mother Trucker); (Loser Mom); (Kenny Loggins Must Die)
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Wendi Aarons lives in Austin, Texas with her family. In the past few years, she has written for McSweeneys, The Big Jewel, Parentwise:Austin, austinmama.com, and Esther's Follies, Austin's famous comedy revue. She has also been a commentator on Austin's NPR station, KUT.

This year Wendi obtained a weird sort of fame when the letter she wrote about Always Maxi-Pads for McSweeneys became an internet hit. Now people send her e-mails about their periods. Prior to breeding, Wendi was a copywriter. Prior to Texas, she spent 10 years in Los Angeles, where she worked in various capacities for Warner Bros., The Gersh Agency and Disney. She is currently writing a book of humorous essays and taking out her frustrations at www.wendi-aarons.com.

ANDREA ABBATE (Hell); (The Reason I Screen My Calls)
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Developed and written shows for HBO, Showtime, NBC, and CBS. She has tried to write about her own life for TV, but even the cable networks think it's too dark. Andrea spends her free time doing charity work for at risk kids -- the Foster Program, and the World Literacy Crusade. She really wants people to cry at her funeral.

JANE MEREDITH ADAMS (Adventures in Dissociation)
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Jane Meredith Adams is co-author of the Lambda Literary Award-winning book The Last Time I Wore a Dress (Putnam/Riverhead), which was a finalist for the Books for a Better Life Award and has been translated into German and Japanese. She’s the recipient of the Clark/Gross Award in the Novel and the Associated Writing Programs Intro Award, as well as a Squaw Valley Writers Conference scholarship. A mother of twins, she tells all in the essay, “My Nanny, My Self,” which appears in the award-winning anthology Searching for Mary Poppins (Penguin/Hudson Street Press.) Her essays have been aired on NPR’s Morning Edition and have appeared in O: The Oprah Magazine, Health, San Francisco, and Organic Style. A former staff reporter for the Boston Globe, her reporting has appeared in Salon, Washington Post, Chicago Tribune, Newsday, Miami Herald, Philadelphia Inquirer, Baltimore Sun, Dallas Morning News and Los Angeles Times.

ALLISON ADLER (I am Coated with Feces -- and Loving It!)
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Allison is a brand new mom and Writer/Producer of a bunch of TV shows. Most recently Life as We Know It, the critically acclaimed and little seen coming of age drama on ABC.

Way less recently -- Beverly Hills 90210, (back when Brenda was on) It's Like, You Know… (the only TV show to include an ellipses in its title), Just Shoot Me and Family Guy. Allison's favorite new hobby is sleep. She rarely gets to do it.

VALERIE AHERN (The Christmas Secrets)
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Valerie Ahern has been living in L.A., writing and producing TV for over ten years. She has worked on a dizzyingly diverse list of shows including Married...With Children , Clueless, My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiance, Hannah Montana, Spyder Games (an Emmy-nominated soap she created with partner Christian McLaughlin), Drawn Together, Hot Properties, and, most recently, Desperate Housewives.

HARLYN AIZLEY (Google This); (In the Closet with Barbie)
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Harlyn is the author of two books, Buying Dad: One Woman's Search for the Perfect Sperm Donor (Alyson Publications) which appeared on nonfiction bestseller lists including The Los Angeles Times and The Boston Globe, and The Other Mother (to be published by Beacon Press, 2006). Her writing can also be found in 96 Inc., Berkeley Fiction Review, Boston Magazine, Mangrove, and The South Carolina Review, and has aired on public radio stations nationwide.

A resident of Boston, when visiting Los Angeles Harlyn dabbles on the Sit N'Spin stage and gets her hair cut, though usually in the opposite order. Presently, Harlyn is working on a novel about regular decaf vanilla blendeds and (hetero) sex. One day you will be able to read excerpts from it on www.harlynaizley.com, but for now she still has no idea how to use Dreamweaver.

ALIEN #7005634 (I Do! I Do!)
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Alien #7005634 is a 32-year-old freelance journalist, story teller and two-time divorcee. She writes for publications including BUST, Whole Life Times, Science & Spirit, and Penthouse. She is currently working for Entertainment Tonight UK as a researcher and associate producer. Her life dramatically changed three years ago when she stepped into a crosswalk on Melrose Avenue and was smacked down by an SUV that dragged her fifty feet before stopping. She is (still) working on her first "novel from memory," titled Metal in My Flesh.

Her author picture was taken at a wedding; someone else's.

CHARLIE ANDERS (The Week of Rental Car Disasters)
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Charlie Anders is the author of Choir Boy (Soft Skull Press 2005) and the co-editor, with Annalee Newitz, of She's Such A Geek (Seal Press 2006). Her writing has appeared in the Wall Street Journal, Salon.com, ZYZZYVA, Tikkun, Punk Planet, the SF Bay Guardian, the New York Press and many additional magazines and anthologies. She's the publisher of other magazine <www.othermag.org> and the organizer of the award-winning Writers With Drinks reading series in San Francisco. She doesn't own a car..

RICHARD ANDREOLI (We Can't Have Anything Nice)
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Besides collecting really cool but ultimately useless pop culture crap, Richard Andreoli works as a freelance writer in Los Angeles. He moved here from San Diego to attend UCLA, where he graduated Magna Cum Laude in 1995, majoring in English Literature with an emphasis in Creative Writing.

After graduation he worked in the entertainment industry as a development executive; basically, this meant people submitted their scripts to him, and he told them they sucked. He also produced a standup comedy show, some live theater projects, and made it to the third level writer's lab with The Groundlings. That's when he realized that none of this was directly advancing his writing career, so he quit and began developing his humor and mainstream reportage for various magazines. His words have appeared in The Advocate, Los Angeles Confidential, CARGO Magazine, Metro Source, and on Playboy TV.

Most recently he was contracted by the Comic-Con International: San Diego to revamp their Update magazine, and the first edition hit comic book stores November 1st. But all that pales in comparison to interviewing both Lynda Carter and Jennifer Garner this past year; Jennifer complimented his biceps. He can now die a happy man. Mondo Homo: Your Essential Guide to Queer Pop Culture is his first book. You can find him at www.richardandreoli.com.

ROMIE ANGELICH (My Prom Date's Name Was Bubba)
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Romie is the producer and host of the monthly series Border’s Published, Produced, Or On Their Way. She was a stand-up comedienne from 1982-1996. After taking a long break from the road to raise her two boys with husband/comedian Peter Moor, she started writing and performing her scripts and essays at theaters in Los Angeles, including Bang Studio, The Comedy Central Stage, The Falcon Theater, The HBO Workspace, The Steve Allen Theater, and The Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre. She loves having the wonderful venue of Border’s Books and Music’s performance stage to perform a fresh essay each month. Her show, (which is part performance, part talk show and part signing,) promotes books, CDs, DVDs, and the live shows of the talented people she just happens to know.

ALICIA ANKA (Becoming a Flower)
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Alicia Anka received an MFA from Mills College in Oakland, California. She found writing when she was about eight years old, and has been trying to make it her friend ever since. She spent her early working years as an elementary school teacher and then moved into writing content for educational companies such as LeapFrog,Inc in Emeryville, California. She's also dabbled in editing and copy writing. Alicia now resides in Europe, where she is teaching English, copywriting and pursuing her fiction works.

REBECCA ASHER (From Spot to Gone)
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Rebecca is currently the script supervisor on Arrested Development. She has done the same job on various television shows including Undeclared and Andy Richter Controls the Universe, as well as films including Donnie Darko and Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy, starring Will Farrell.

Rebecca has also directed and edited four Instant Films, part of a film series in LA featuring films written, shot and edited in 48 hours, and co-directed three shorts for the acclaimed mockumentary series CA$HINO.

LUCY BAKER (The Hall of Asian Mammals)
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Until she moved to New York City, Lucy Baker wore her heart on her sleeve. Now she stuffs it down her left pant leg for safekeeping. She has written for the Village Voice, McSweeney's Internet Tendency, Ducts.org, ReallySmallTalk.com, and Mr. Beller's Neighborhood, among others. She also tells stories at NYC's The Moth.

JANELLE BARNETTE (My Father, My Ghost)
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Janelle Barnette lives in Vernon, New Jersey and cannot fathom ever leaving the state. She is currently a senior at Centenary College, and most likely will be selecting "student" as her occupation on forms for a few more years, or at least until she grows up and becomes a librarian. Despite what some may say, she is not a snob, just quiet. This is her first published piece.

TOM BARTLETT (A Beast in the Night)
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Tom's writing has appeared in Slate, Muse, McSweeney's Internet Tendency, Opium Magazine, the Washington Post Magazine and the New Yorker, among other publications. He blogs at www.minortweaks.com. He is the one writing this.

TAMARA BECHER (Stalking Santa)
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Tamara Becher has written no books, plays or poetry, as much of her time is divided between training to defend her Mexican Wrestling World Championship title and trying to beat expert mode on Guitar Hero II.

She has never been the recipient of a prestigious award, but is credited with being the only known survivor of Mexican Wrestling's most fatal move: El Suplex de Muerto.

Ms. Becher uses the wages she earns as a script coordinator for the Fox drama Standoff to keep herself well-supplied in Spandex.

RACHELLE BERGSTEIN (Not Alone)
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Rachelle Bergstein's writing has appeared in Flashquake (www.flashquake.org) and 11211 Magazine, and she's a monthly columnist for Sugarzine (www.sugarzine.com). She graduated with a degree in English from Vassar College, where she won awards for her academic writing. She currently works at a literary agency and lives in Brooklyn.

Writing her first novel, Rachelle finds herself distracted by good food, fashion, eyeshadow, fun parties, singing along with the radio and reading great books.

PAIGE BERNHARDT (Little Dogs Humping: Buckets of Love);
(Save Me Now)
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Paige Bernhardt is a television writer and producer. Her work has appeared on various primetime network comedies including Two Guys and A Girl, Yes, Dear, What about Joan with Joan Cusack. A regular contributor to Sit & Spin at the Comedy Central Stage, she also appeared in Hollywood Hell House.

She was raised in North Georgia and has the twitchy neurons to prove it. Her interests include conceptual maximalism, hobos and nudity.

CAROLINE BICKS (Means of Support)
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Caroline's essays have been seen and heard on babble.com, in the book and show Afterbirth: Stories You Won't Read in a Parenting Magazine (St. Martin's Press), and on NPR's "All Things Considered."

She is an English Professor at Boston College, where she teaches Shakespeare and Women's Studies. For fun, she blogs about how the Bard meets suburban mommy life at http://www.everydayshakespeare.com.

JENNY BICKS (One Single Christmas)
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Jenny Bicks was a Writer/Executive Producer on Sex and The City. She joined the show in the first season. Her work on the series has earned her an Emmy, multiple Golden Globes, Producer's Guild Awards and two WGA nominations. Before she joined the show she worked on a bunch of bad shows, and a few better ones, including Seinfeld and Dawson's Creek. In 2001, Jenny created and executive produced Leap of Faith, a single-camera half hour comedy that aired on NBC. She is currently the creator/Executive Producer of Men in Trees, an ABC dramedy in its second season.

Jenny also works in film. Her movie What a Girl Wants (Warner Bros.) premiered in April 2003, and her short film, Gnome, whch she wrote and directed (starring Lauren Graham), was selected to be in numerous festivals, including the Berlin Film Festival and the Aspen Comedy Festival. It won Best Short at the Savannah Film Festival, and the Audience Award at Maui. Jenny has also done numerous re-writes on films including The Nanny Diaries (Miramax), Beauty Shop (MGM), Serendipity (Miramax) and Never Been Kissed (Fox2000).

Before Jenny wised up, she worked in advertising, where she sold Clearasil and Maxwell House Coffee. She quit, joined the performing troupe of Gotham City Improv (The Groundlings, NYC), and realized once and for all that she was a much better writer than performer.

Jenny is a born and bred New Yorker who now splits her time between New York, Maine, and Los Angeles.

JOANN BIONDI (Sundays in Haiti)
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Joann Biondi started her journalism career as an obituary writer for the Miami Herald. Fortunately, she learned a lot from working the Dead Beat and moved on to write for many other publications including The New York Times, National Geographic Traveler, Travel & Leisure, Islands, Cooking Light, and Salon.com. Her most recent book is Miami Beach Memories, a collection of interviews with 100 people from all walks of life -- strippers, comedians, bankers, bellhops, writers, photographers, waitresses, politicians -- that tells the tale of Miami Beach from the 1920s to the 1960s. Sexy, funny, poignant and brutally honest, it proves that Miami Beach was a hot and happening place way before Paris Hilton ever came to town. You can learn more about Biondi by visiting www.your-story.net.

JEWEL BLACKFEATHER (Becoming You)
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Jewel Blackfeather is a mixed breed wild child with hair like Joseph's Technicolor dreamcoat. Her father was a highly decorated officer in the Army and a road warrior besides, so Jewel spent most of her childhood bouncing from one place to the next in her dad's beat-up Ford truck. She's lived in more places than she has letters in her name. She pretends to be normal, but she's everything your mama warned you about and nothing you want to take home, a modern brat with a penchant for wearing dangerous shoes and talking tons of jive. She wishes her stomach were a lily and her tongue a rosepetal. Instead, she's a blur of awkwardness and mussed hair. Eat her up (and eat her good) with a spoon at http://muse.livejournal.com.

Jewel is a published writer for a few publications and often feels weird discussing her readership or publishing life. You can walk into a major bookstore and find an anthology or magazine with her in it most days. For Numb Magazine she's interviewed a lot of famous and not-famous folks like Isabel Allende, Ernie Barnes, Noam Chomsky, Fatboy Slim, Janeane Garofalo, Spike Lee, Yoko Ono, and Floria Sigismondi. She gets into shows free as a press-person and she's hugged and chatted with Daniel Lanois and Lucinda Williams and written bratty letters to Peter Gabriel and danced drunkenly with Francis Ford Coppola. She's just trying to hang on and enjoy the bedlam that she calls home. As she does that in the Arizona desert, she eats flowers, writes love letters to thunderstorms, and chases coyotes with nothing but her bare feet. She loves her little life very much.

KEITH BLANEY (Crayons)
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After graduating from Florida State University's School of Theatre, Keith went on to intern at the Alliance Theatre in Atlanta. Back home in Miami, in addition to acting in commercials and films, he helped run a comedy theatre company and advertising agency. On stage there, he performed Wallace Shawn's The Fever as well as in City Theatre's popular play festival, Summer Shorts, before moving to Los Angeles in 2001.

On stage in LA, Keith was fortunate to play the role of Clown in the critically acclaimed West Coast premiere of The Lepers of Baile Baiste, and NURSE RU486 in Hollywood Hell House. He also performs at the acclaimed reading series Sit 'n Spin at the Comedy Central Stage.

Along with his writing partners, Charlotte and Adam, Keith has several film and television projects he carries around in a bag and leaves under unsuspecting car windshield wipers all over Los Angeles.

Since the big move West, Keith is very happy to have had acted on shows such as Scrubs and Entourage. He is currently working on a set of monologues called "My Name's Not Rusty."

FRANCESCA LIA BLOCK (Fashion Quest)
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Francesca Lia Block is the acclaimed author of sixteen books including the bestsellers The Rose and the Beast, Violet and Claire, and Dangerous Angels: The Weetzie Bat Books, as well as I Was a Teenage Fairy, Girl Goddess #9, The Hanged Man, Echo, and Nymph.

Francesca has received numerous awards, including citations from the American Library Association, The New York Times Book Review and the School Library Journal, and her work has been published around the world, translated into seven different languages. To find out more, visit her website: www.francescaliablock.com.

ROB BLOOM (Kick Me When I'm Down); (Relax, Mon!)
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Rob Bloom is a humor writer, screenwriter, cartoonist, and connoisseur of
all things deli. He has written for the Cartoon Network, McSweeney's,
CRACKED, Monkey Bicycle, Funny Times, National Public Radio, and
the Travel Channel, among others. As the winner of Screenvision's Short
Script-Big Screen Competition, Rob's screenplay Suburban Bravery will
soon be produced by the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre and shown on movie screens nationwide. He is also the writer of a regular humor column, which has been praised by the Erma Bombeck Writing Institute as well as by his parents who proudly display it on their refrigerator with magnets shaped
like fruit.

To read more of Rob's writing (or to recommend a good deli he should try),
visit RobBloom.com.

MICHAEL BOOKMAN (My Father and the Ghost of Bugsy Goldstein)
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Michael Bookman grew up in Brooklyn in the '50s during the reign of the great Brooklyn Dodger teams. A New York advertising copywriter and Creative Director for 25 years, Michael produced TV and print campaigns for clients as varied as the Brooklyn Museum, the Metropolitan Opera, Kodak Film and Proctor and Gamble.

As an adjunct professor at John J College for Criminal Justice, he taught Creative Writing to inmates at the Rikers Island Correctional Facility. Michael has published two books, a novel, God's Rat and a collection of first person verse, Pomes, Short Stories in Verse. He lives with his wife Mona in Suffern, NY; they have two grown children and three grandchildren.

JULIA BORCHERTS (Running on Empty)
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Julia Borcherts is a fiction writing instructor at Columbia College Chicago and frequent contributor to Time Out Chicago magazine and Chicago Tribune's RedEye and Metromix.com publication and website. She is also a co-founder and co-host of both the Reading Under the Influence monthly literary performance series and the Dating for Nerds board game and trivia mixers for hetero and queer nerds at heart. Her fiction has been featured in several books including Sin: A Deadly Anthology and Cubbie Blues: 100 Years of Waiting till Next Year, and performed live at many, many venues in Chicago. Her essay Straddling the Mason-Dixon Line won first place in the Columbia University (New York) CSPA national competition.

SHARON BORDAS (Fifteen)
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Ms. Bordas is a television writer who was most recently employed on the critically acclaimed and promptly cancelled VH1 comedy So NoTORIous. She and her writing partner, Mr. Damon Hill, are currently developing a one-hour drama with The N/MTV Networks. A graduate of the MPW program at USC, Ms. Bordas has been published in West Magazine for the Los Angeles Times, as well as on a handful of websites under a variety of pseudonyms. Day jobs have included working as an editor for the Hollywood Creative Directory, freelance reading work for HBO, and writing a weekly column for a travel website. Ms. Bordas is deathly afraid of airplanes, global warming, snakes, unemployment, corduroy shorts, heroin and molasses.

MICHELLE BOYANER (Oh Mother, Where Art Thou?); (Lost and Found)
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Although writer Michelle Boyaner would like her first Bold Face and Italicized Credit to appear right here in this first paragraph, it doesn’t. It won’t appear until the second paragraph because she spent too many of her “early years” working in the Fashion Industry as a Designer/Merchandiser/Court Jester for companies she doesn’t want to put in bold face type.

She returned to writing several years ago with a collection of personal essays, Oh, for God's Sake Whisper It, a chronicle of her Grandmother's battle with Alzheimer's.

She and Director Barbara Green formed Greenie Films and in 2003 produced their first short film, I Want You To Show Me, a fictional and humorous take on an hour in the life of Wynonna Judd. Another Greenie Films production written by Michelle is 2004’s You're Still Young, which has been an official selection at Film Festivals throughout the country, and has garnered awards. She's just co-directed her first documentary short, Tina Paulina: Living on
Hope Street, a brief glimpse into the life of a homeless gay woman.

Michelle continues writing screenplays and essays as well as rambling rants in her online blog, which has a large following of readers whose loyalty is both appreciated and mind-boggling.

ASTRID BOYLE (Dear Folks)
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Astrid is the host of her own ham radio show, Just Chillin' on Channel 2478. She enjoys billiards, crochet, and America's Next Top Model. She also has a pet bird.

ART BRAMBILA ("No" Was His Only Answer); (The Night of the Pigeons)
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Art Brambila grew up in the hard, working class barrios of East Los Angeles during the sixties and learned quickly to survive in the dangerous streets there. At 13 he was expelled from his local junior high school for gang activities and sent to a West L.A. school where he got his first glimpse of a potential for a better future. He attended Cal-State, L.A. and chose a career in Entertainment Marketing. Starting as a young executive at Capitol Records, he later became an independent music producer signing local Latino rock groups to major labels. His Hollywood contacts lead him to television production and to a position as Unit manager at ABC. After a stint there, he was named Director of Motown Latino. Brambila was later appointed Director of Special Markets at Universal Pictures.

He is currently owner/president of Brown Bag Records, a small, independent East L.A. label that records and distributes mostly bilingual Latino pop music. He write songs, and stories about the neighborhood he grew up in, the people he knew there, and the experiences he remembers. His first novel was Dying Young in East L.A., and he is currently working on his second, tentatively titled East of the L.A. River.

JAMES BRALY (Power Outage)
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Married to his college sweetheart, James Braly has spent the last twenty years researching life in a marital institution. He's performed his autobiographic stories on NPR and Marketplace, and at The Whitney Museum, Long Wharf Theatre, and The Moth, where he is the only two-time winner of the audience-judged GrandSLAM, and a featured performer on The Moth National Story Tour.

His autobiographic monologue LIFE IN A MARITAL INSTITUTION is currently in development with Hal Brooks, director of 2005 Pulitzer Prize finalist THOM PAIN (BASED ON NOTHING). The book version of LIFE IN A MARITAL INSTITUTION will be published in 2008 by Algonquin. More info at www.JamesBraly.com.

KIMBERLY BRITTINGHAM (The Over-Gifting Affliction); (What's So Wrong With The Brady Bunch?); (Fat is Contagious)
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Kimberly Brittingham was a delighted finalist in The Memoirists Collective's "Win A Shot at Getting Your Memoir Published!" contest in the summer of 2006. She is passionately immersed in writing her memoir, tentatively titled Parking Backwards (borrowed from her short story of the same name which won Permafrost's annual award for fiction in 2005). Her work has appeared in One Trick Pony, The Evergreen Chronicles, Mobius, The Advocate and Axe Factory. If you enjoy her essay Fat is Contagious, and want to practice similar mischief, blank books with Kim's original Fat is Contagious cover are available at www.cafepress.com/teeandsympathy.

JACK BURDITT ((Un)Becoming (of) a Grandfather)
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Jack Burditt grew up in Cleveland and Burbank, married a girl he met at Magic Mountain at age 19, then together they had four kids and now a grandson. During that time he's worked too many jobs, but mostly as a journalist and sitcom writer. His credits include Mad About You, Frasier, Watching Ellie and 30 Rock, where he is currently Writer/Co-Executive Producer.

LISA BUSCANI (Escort); (Idiot), (My End of the Line)
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Lisa Buscani got her start in Chicago's performance poetry scene and ultimately became a National Poetry Slam Champion as well as a Pushcart Prize nominee. She has published one book of poetry, Jangle (Tia Chucha Press) and has produced three critically and publicly acclaimed solo shows, Carnivale Animale, At That Time, and Solid Citizen.

She has been featured in poetry anthologies such as Alive from the NuYorican Poets Café (Holt) and Word Up (Keyporter Books/EMI). She has appeared on HBO, CNN, PBS, Much Music and NPR. She is currently the executive director of The Poetry Center of Chicago.

RACHEL KRAMER BUSSEL(Three Little Words)
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Rachel Kramer Bussel (www.rachelkramerbussel.com) is the editor or co-editor of over a dozen anthologies, including Caught Looking, Hide and Seek, He's on Top, She's on Top, Yes, Sir, Yes, Ma'am, Crossdressing, First-Timers, Up All Night, Glamour Girls, Sexiest Soles, Ultimate Undies, Secret Slaves; Erotic Stories of Bondage, and Naughty Spanking Stories from A to Z 1 and 2, and the forthcoming non-fiction collection Best Sex Writing 2008. Her writing has been published in over 100 anthologies, including Best American Erotica 2004 and 2006, Single State of the Union, and Everything You Know About Sex is Wrong. She's contributed to AVN, Bust, Cosmo UK, Gothamist, Huffington Post, Mediabistro, New York Post, Penthouse, Playgirl, San Francisco Chronicle, Time Out New York, and other publications. She serves as Senior Editor at Penthouse Variations, hosts and curates In The Flesh Erotic Reading Series and wrote the popular Lusty Lady column for The Village Voice. Her first novel, Everything But…, will be published by Bantam in 2008.

Her biological clock continues to tick loudly. When she's not obsessing over the babies in her life, Rachel can be found reading voraciously, walking across the Williamsburg Bridge, and blogging at Lusty Lady (http://lustylady.blogspot.com) and Cupcakes Take the Cake (http://cupcakestakethecake.blogspot.com).

NANCY NEUFELD CALLAWAY (Tell You Later)
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Nancy Neufeld Callaway began her illustrious career in 1980 as a member of the U.S. OLYMPIC RHYTHMIC GYMNASTICS TEAM. And later that year, her career came to a cruel halt when President Jimmy Carter decided to boycott the games. So after a ceremonial burning of her hoop and ball, Nancy gained a lot of weight and graduated from Yale. Shortly thereafter she became Vice President of Feature Production for 20th Century Fox. But a debilitating allergy to being an enemy to all creative types forced her to turn her back on the dark side and begin a third career as a writer.

Nancy wrote on IN LIVING COLOR, ROUNDHOUSE, THE EDGE, MARRIED WITH CHILDREN and a half-dozen other shows you've probably flipped past. And since bringing three poorly-mannered, yet incredibly funny children into the world with her painfully bald husband, she has reinvented herself yet again as a writer of family entertainment, including, JUMANJI, THE LION KING SERIES, DRAGONTALES, LIZZIE MCGUIRE, and most recently her launching of an internet family sitcom. Please check this paragraph again in six weeks to find out how much further she's fallen in her professional and personal life.

RICH CAPLAN (My Father's Penis)
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You may not have caught Rich Caplan's last "piece." It was written in the year 1967, and started with the words:

Dear Mom and Dad.
Camp is gud.

The underwhelming response resulted in him taking a break from writing for the subsequent 40 years (give or take). The technological advent of that thing on the computer that corrects your spelling mistakes for you has enabled him to finally resume his career, spawning not only this essay, but also the better part of a feature screenplay that no one other than his wife has ever seen, and even she hasn't looked at it lately although at one time she was very encouraging. In his spare time Rich is a partner in a talent agency that represents excellent Canadian actors. This is his first published piece

CINDY CAPONERA (My Emotionally Challenged Christmas)
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Cindy Caponera, writer/actress, native Chicagoan and Second City Alum. In New York she wrote for Saturday Night Live. Guest wrote on Strangers with Candy. And also wrote and performed on Exit 57 with the Strangers' crew. She has been living in California for seven years writing/producing on many shows including, Norm, That '80s Show, Stan Hooper, Living wtih Fran, and My Boys. She's currently developing a pilot for CBS loosely based on her one woman show Cookies and Booze.

She has developed scripts for HBO, SHOWTIME, Fox, and CBS. She has also written and performed three critically acclaimed one woman shows. One of which, The Debutante Ball was performed at the Aspen Comedy Festival.

Cindy continues writing her pesonal essays and regularly performs at various writer's events including: Say The Word, Sit&Spin, Scratch It and Word-o-rama.

His plays have been presented at the National Playwrights Conference of the Eugene O'Neill Theater Center, Yale Repertory Theatre, Ensemble Studio Theatre, The Vineyard Theater, Theater for the New City and numerous other venues. He received a screenwriting fellowship from the Chesterfield Writers Film Project at Universal Studios and has received grants and fellowships in playwriting and screenwriting from the National Endowment for the Arts, the New York Foundation for the Arts, the Edward F. Albee Foundation and the Ludwig Vogelstein Foundation. Carl has an M.F.A. in Playwriting from Columbia University School of the Arts. He currently lives in midtown Manhattan, one block away from the building in which his mother was born 81 years ago.

KELLY CARLIN-McCALL (The Day the Sun Exploded)
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Kelly Carlin does not have endless impressive credits nor an Emmy nomination, and yet she still manages to like herself, which is no small feat in Los Angeles. Her professional life has taken her from behind the scenes in the world of TV/film to claiming the stage for her own creation of her one-woman show, Driven To Distraction. After two decades in the entertainment business, Kelly stepped away to get a new perspective, and in 2004 received her masters in Depth Psychology from Pacifica Graduate Institute.

Kelly’s irreverent reverence can be seen and heard in everything she does: assisting individuals and groups to claim their creative life through her creative coaching, writing and performing her personal essays, interviewing legendary comedians for Laugh.com's On Comedy CD series and writing her upcoming memoir, What a Strange and Wonderful Life. You can find her blogging at Huffington Post and published in the anthology Dirty Laundry: Real Life, Real People, Real Funny by Phoenix Books. She is very happy being married to her wonderful husband Bob, and living in Westchester (no not the one in NY, the one in L.A.) with their two dogs Jenny and Ned.

HILLARY CARLIP (Excerpt from A la Cart: The Secret Lives of Grocery Shoppers), (They're Very Loyal Fans and they Bake)
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Hillary Carlip is the creator, host and editor of FRESH YARN. Her fourth book, A la Cart: The Secret Lives of Grocery Shoppers (Virgin Books, March 2008) has been met with critical acclaim.

Her memoir Queen of the Oddballs: And Other True Stories from a Life Unaccording to Plan (HarperCollins, 2006), was an American Bookseller's Association Book Sense Pick chosen by independent bookstores throughout the country, a Lambda Literary Award finalist in two categories (humor and memoir), and was selected by Borders as one of the Top Literary Memoirs of 2006. She appeared on numerous radio and TV shows promoting Queen of the Oddballs, including the Ellen Degeneres Show, where she taught Ellen how to eat fire (complete with Liza Minnelli running onstage -- unplanned -- with a fire extinguisher!)

Hillary's first book, Girl Power: Young Women Speak Out (Warner Books, 1995), landed her on Oprah, an entire episode dedicated to the book, and her second book, Zine Scene (Girl Press, 1999), which Hillary designed herself and co-wrote with the award-winning, acclaimed author Francesca Lia Block, was featured at the New Museum for Contemporary Art in New York City, and won an American Library Association Award.

With a past as a performance artist, juggler, fire-eater, cult rock icon, and visual artist, Hillary also has a thriving web design business www.flyhcmultimedia.com.

MARTHA RANDOLPH CARR (Little Blue Boy)
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Martha Randolph Carr is a frequent contributor to the Washington Post. Her work has also appeared in the Chicago Tribune, the San Francisco Bee, the Long Island Newsday, the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, the Deseret Morning News, the Bryan College Station Eagle, the Providence Journal, the Sarasota Sun, the Albany Times-Union, the Richmond Times Dispatch, CNN Money, Virginia Living Magazine and Readers Digest. The author of two novels, Wired (optioned for film) and The Sitting Sisters, she also writes a popular weekly online advice column/newsletter -- Dear Martha (www.martharandolphcarr.com and www.IdealLives.com.)

A graduate of Virginia Commonwealth University and the 1990 first place winner of the Virginia Press Award, she is a descendant of Thomas Jefferson, and along with her cousin, best selling author, Lucian K. Truscott IV, has worked to recognize all of the Jefferson descendants. A sought after speaker on the topics of writing, surviving abuse, overcoming learning disabilities, and spiritual growth, she resides in Richmond, Virginia with her son Louie where she is working on a memoir, Grateful, and the next thriller, The List.

GREG CHANDLER (My Son the Burgler, Revisted)
Greg's short fiction has recently appeared in the Encyclopedia Project and The Barcelona Review. He has an MFA in fiction from Columbia University, is a former Susan Sontag assistant, and currently lives in Pasadena, CA. He wrote the acclaimed short film Soda Pop,an audience favorite at festivals worldwide (http://youtube.com/watch?v=ZhrvT_S2OsY) and just finished
a novel called American Upset. "My Son the Burglar, Revisted" is his first piece of non-fiction to be published.

EMMA CHASIN (What is it you C#nt Face Maria)
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Emma Chasin is a former stand-up comic and Associate Producer of Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me. She is now a writer and sex blogger living in Los Angeles and hard at work on her memoir. Emma enjoys lip gloss, napping and fake French accents.

LISA CHOLODENKO (Toasted)
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Lisa wrote and directed the highly acclaimed films High Art (Winner, Waldo Salt Screenwriting Award, 1998 Sundance Film Festival; Winner, Best Actress, Ally Sheedy, 1999 National Society of Film Critics Awards; Winner, Best Female Lead, 1999 Independent Spirit Awards) and Laurel Canyon, starring Frances McDormand.

She also wrote and directed the Showtime feature, Cavedweller, and directed episodes of Six Feet Under and The L Word.

DAVID CHRISMAN (Hanging On)
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Four years after the great New York City bankruptcy of 1977, David left the gentle green hills of Northern California to live in Spanish Harlem because he wanted to be an actor. In the years since, he has played leading roles for Equity stages in New York, Florida, San Francisco and Los Angeles, including a run in The Three Sisters, co-starring with Christopher Walken. His performances have been described in the press as "SPECTACULAR," "TOUCHING," "MAGNIFICENT" and once even "DETESTABLE."

From time to time, he teaches, recently giving courses in Acting and Voice for the Stage at UCLA, Theater Appreciation (of all things!) at Antelope Valley College and Vocal Technique For Actors at The University of Puerto Rico. Having grown to loathe auditions so intensely even successful sessions leave him shaking with rage, fear and self-regret, he has turned to writing. Fledgling efforts include a one-act solo drama about not choosing a wife called, Henry: walking through the body of the train, a full length drama about Tina Modotti called Un Sueño de Revolución, which premiered in San Juan, Puerto Rico and was performed at Highways in Los Angeles, and a screenplay about the same Miss Modotti called A Dream of Revolution, currently in development.

STEVEN CHURCH (Wolf-Ant of the High Plains)
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Steven Church was born and raised in Lawrence, Kansas. He earned a BA in philosophy from the University of Kansas and a MFA in Creative Writing from Colorado State University. He's been named the Allan Collins Scholar in Nonfiction at the 2003 Bread Loaf Writer's Conference and was awarded an Artist Fellowship in Creative Nonfiction from the Colorado Council on the Arts.

His essays and stories have been published in The Ruminator, Powells.com, Fourth Genre, Post Road, Salt Hill, Quarterly West, Puerto Del Sol, Riverteeth, Quarter After Eight, and others. His first book, The Guinness Book of Me: a Memoir of Record, was released in 2005 by Simon & Schuster. His next project will tackle the personal, historical, and cultural legacy of the post-apocalyptic made-for-TV drama, The Day After, which was filmed in his hometown.

KIMBERLY CLARK (Please, Do Not Pet the Negro)
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Kimberly is an Executive Assistant on the Freddie Prinze Jr. Pilot and has worked as an assistant on a number of shows including, the CBS pilot Washington Street, Center of the Universe, and The Drew Carey Show.

She was featured on BET's now defunct sketch-show, The Way We Do It, with her original poem titled, "I Can't Go Out With You Because Your Breath Stinks."

Originally from Syracuse, NY, when Kim is not making Starbuck's runs and taking lunch orders for her bosses, she can be found doing stand-up at various L.A. comedy clubs and cafes. For more info, go to her MySpace page, www.myspace.com/pleasedonotpetthenegro.

RICK CLEVELAND (I Was the Dumb Looking Guy with the Wire-Rimmed Glasses)
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Rick Cleveland is a writer and Executive Producer on HBO's Six Feet Under. He won an Emmy Award, a Writer's Guild Award and a Humanitas Award for his writing on The West Wing in 2000. His play Jerry and Tom was adapted as a screenplay and was an official selection at both the Sundance and Toronto Film Festivals in 1998. As a playwright he has received grants and fellowships from the Kennedy Center's Fund for New American Plays, the National Endowment for the Arts and the Rockefeller Foundation.

Rick received his MFA from the University of Iowa's Playwright's Workshop in 1995. He was a founding member of the American Theatre Company and a former playwright-in-residence at Victory Gardens Theater, both in Chicago. He is also a commentator for NPR's All Things Considered.

RAY COCHRAN (Name Dropper)
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Ray has acted on Broadway, off-Broadway and in regional productions. He is currently in school working toward an MA in Social Work.

JACKIE COHEN (A Memo I Wish I'd Received)
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Jackie Cohen is a stand-up comic, writer, and producer in New York City. She has worked on various Comedy Central shows including Crank Yankers, The Man Show and Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn, all of which her parents have watched only to see her name in the credits. She currently is an Associate Producer for the upcoming VH1 show Wack TV Planet with Nick DiPaolo.

NANCY COHEN (Yeah, I'd F#ck Clinton)
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After stage managing and fetching people things for years in New York, Nancy moved to Los Angeles to pursue TV writing. She has written for King of Queens, Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Raising Dad, Unhappily Ever After, Good Girls Don't and the thought bubbles on Blind Date.

Nancy also reads her essays at Los Angles spoken word venues Show and Tell and Sit 'n Spin. She is a contributing writer in Harper Collins' upcoming More Mirth of a Nation.

ANDY CORREN (Turning Japanese)
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An acting graduate of the North Carolina School of the Arts, Andy has been a network news promo producer, a Broadway talent agent, a gay male secretary and a billionaire's assistant. None of those things makes him as proud as his self-taught ability to bake.

Andy has written and performed material at: Westbeth Theatre Center (NYC), Sacred Fools Theatre (LA), Comedy Central Stage (LA), HBO Workspace (LA), Upright Citzen's Brigade Theatre (NY), Second Stage (LA) and, most recently, in the smash-hit Hollywood Hellhouse. He's also done standup and sketch comedy at clubs throughout NYC. His three-person solo show, Backyard Fruit, continues to entertain audiences.

As a junior manager at The Rath Welker Company, with Kara Welker & Dave Rath Andy works with, among many others, Patton Oswalt, Janeane Garofolo, Finesse Mitchell, etc.

ELIZABETH CRANE (The Federlines and Us)
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Elizabeth Crane is the author of two critically acclaimed collections of short stories from Little, Brown: When The Messenger Is Hot and All This Heavenly Glory. Her third collection, You Must Be This Happy To Enter, will be released from Punk Planet Books in February 2008.

Her work has also been featured in numerous publications (including The Believer and McSweeney's) and anthologies, and she is the author of the blog Standby Bert, read by at least a dozen people on a regular basis. Crane is also a regular contributor to Writer's Block Party on WBEZ Chicago, and two of her short stories have been featured on NPR's Selected Shorts. Her first collection is currently being adapted for the stage as part of Steppenwolf's First Look Festival in August 2007. She is a past winner of the Chicago Public Library 21st Century Award and teaches writing at Northwestern's School of Continuing Studies, The School of the Art Institute, and The University of Chicago.

KAMBRI CREWS (Just Like My Daddy)
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Kambri Crews is not a writer. Originally from Texas, she owns and operates Ballyhoo Promotions, a production and public relations company in New York City which represents stand up comedians and writers. Occasionally she throws really big parties like exclusive events for Jose Cuervo on their privately owned Caribbean island, Governor Ann Richards' latest book party and the national launch of Jest Magazine.

She lives in Queens with her comedian boyfriend Christian Finnegan, dog Paquita Borgito Borgato Chorizo Jimenez, parakeet Larry Bird and her newest addition: the bunny rabbit Maybelline she brought home from NoLA while she was there volunteering with the animal rescue group Pasado's Safe Haven.

LISA CRON (My First Time)
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Lisa Cron spent a decade in publishing before turning to TV, where, among other things, she's been supervising producer on shows for Showtime, Bravo and Court TV. However, she is most proud of working on Fox's WHEN GOOD PETS GO BAD, PART 2, a show that was mocked on The Simpsons. In addition to writing several optioned screenplays, she's been a story consultant for Warner Brothers, Village Roadshow, Icon, Miramax, William Morris Agency and others. She's featured in Final Draft's new book, ASK THE PROS: SCREENWRITING, and, currently works with writers, producers and agents as a script and literary consultant via her website: www.inside-story-ink.com.

She has also written and performed personal essays in NYC at the 78th Street Theatre and at various venues around LA. Since her primary goal in performing is to make it to the end of the performance still breathing, she's happy to report she's had nothing but success. She's also recently begun reviewing movies on the web at www.Tailslate.net, where she took great pleasure in straightening the world out on the merits of The Aviator. Unfortunately, the Academy doesn't seem to have been paying attention!

Her television writing and producing credits include Becker, NewsRadio, Alright Already, Conrad Bloom, The Geena Davis Show and others. She wrote a pilot for NBC Studios and her screenplays are currently languishing in the kind, benevolent hands of those who could take her career to the next level. In the meantime, she's working on a compilation of essays about the damaging effects of growing up in a perfect family.

ANTHONY DEL BROCCOLO (Vigilanthony); (Pap and Circumstance)
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After graduating from the University of North Carolina, Anthony returned to his native New York to fulfill his lifelong dream of becoming a direct marketing copywriter. When writing junk mail proved too stressful, he moved west to write television shows for tweens. His writing credits include Nickelodeon's Drake & Josh and Zoey 101, ESPN Classic's Cheap Seats, and Lil' Bush for Comedy Central. He's also performed at Show and Tell, an essay reading series in Los Angeles.

When not working, Anthony can be found walking the streets of Hollywood, muttering to himself and being mistaken for David Arquette. Next year, he plans to abandon the whole writing thing to become a scrappy utility infielder for the New York Mets. If you'd like to say hello, or you are the Mets and would like to offer Anthony a 3-year, $10 Million contract (terms negotiable), please contact him.

KATHLEEN DENNEHY (The Game of Life)
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Kathleen Dennehy, an esteemed graduate of New York University's Experimental Theater Wing, has guest-starred on many television shows including Law and Order and ER. She is a member of the Naked Angels Theater Company and has appeared on Broadway with Glenn Close and Jeremy Irons in The Real Thing, Off-Broadway in David Mamet's Oleanna, and on the road in many productions including Angels in America.

As a screenwriter, she's had two scripts optioned and is working on a book of true stories entitled Adventures in Poverty.

JEREMY DEUTCHMAN (Cheese Mover)
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Writer/performer Jeremy Deutchman is a frequent contributor on the L.A. story salon scene. He has appeared at venues including Show and Tell at Hollywood's UCB Theatre, Tongue & Groove at the Hotel Café, WordPlay at the Fake Gallery and Piñata at Bang.

Jeremy has published a broad range of stories, poems, essays and opinion pieces, most recently in Rejected: Tales of the Failed, Dumped, and Canceled (Villard, 2009). He lives with his wife and Wheaten by the beach, where he runs his own freelance copywriting business (www.jdcopy.com).

ELLIE DEVERS (Kabuki Beauty)
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Ellie is a writer/performer residing in New York City. She was a company member of the improvisational company The Groundlings East for three years. She wrote and hosted a series for Lifetime Television, called Pandora.
She also appeared on NBC's Ed as a reporter. She was a real reporter for King World Productions' American Journal. The money was good, but tabloid journalism really wasn't her thing. She was one of the original cast members for fX, a live cable show featuring thrilling programming such as Wonder Woman, and Eight is Enough. She was fired soon after coming on board for making fun of the programming on air. Also, her employers weren't crazy about the fact that she did an interpretive dance on air, live, before anyone could stop her.

Ellie recently wrote and performed her one-woman show, My Mother's Dead and I'm Not Feeling So Hot Myself at the Lark Theatre in NYC. She has performed some of her essays at the Say The Word series hosted by Beth Lapides and Greg Miller at the Knitting Factory in NYC. She is thrilled to be a part of Fresh Yarn.

CARA DiPAOLO (Get it Out!); (Christmas in Bucksnort); (Simon and Sonia)
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Cara was recently a writer on Fox's short-lived Head Cases. Prior to that she spent five seasons as the Writers’ Assistant on the critically acclaimed HBO series Six Feet Under, for which she also did website content. Additionally, her writing was featured in the Six Feet Under coffee table book, Better Living Through Death.

Her one-man comedy, Whooda Thunkit? was produced in Chicago, NYC and LA. More recently, Cara wrote and co-produced several short films for American Movie Channel (AMC). She also served as Production Supervisor on the independent feature SHOWBOY.

ILLEANA DOUGLAS (I Blame Dennis Hopper)
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Recently dubbed "The Female William H. Macy of the independent film world," Illeana Douglas first came to prominence as Matt Dillon's suspicious sister in Gus Van Sant's To Die For (NY Film Critic's Nominee). Other memorable performances include Ghost World, Happy Texas, Wedding Bell Blues, Dummy, and studio films including New York Stories, Goodfellas, Cape Fear, and Grace of My Heart (London Film Critics Nominee). Illeana can currently be seen in Factory Girl, with Sienna Miller, where Douglas plays Diana Vreeland, and Expired, which premiered at the 2007 Sundance Film Festival.

Television credits include Gary Shandling's girlfriend on the final season of The Larry Sanders Show (Emmy nomination for episode) and starring in Fox's ahead-of-it's-time comedy, Action, with Jay Mohr (Golden Satellite Award). She's had memorable roles on Seinfeld, Fraiser, Crumbs, The Drew Carey Show, and was nominated for an Emmy for portrayal of "Angela" on Six Feet Under. Her show Supermarket was nominated for a local Emmy on the Chicago PBS network. Illeana wrote, produced, directed and starred in Illeanarama -- Supermarket of the Stars, which costars Jeff Goldblum, Ed Begley Jr., Justine Bateman and Jane Lynch. You can watch it on YouTube where it has become an internet fave. Currently she can be seen on Shark, as defense attorney Gloria Dent opposite James Woods.

Illeana is a graduate of the Neighborhood Playhouse and studied with Sanford Meisner. Recent theater includes James Lapine's The Moment When with Mark Ruffalo at Playwright's Horizon, The Music Man with Jeff Goldblum at Pittsburgh CLO, Surviving Grace at Union Square Theater and Fired: Stories of Jobs Gone Wrong, at the Skirball Center, HBO Workspace, Second Stage in New York, Austin and most recently the U.S. Comedy Arts Festival.

She has written and directed numerous award-winning films, and her writing appears in the book Fired! Tales of the Canned, Canceled, Downsized & Dismissed (Simon & Schuster, 2006).

JIM DOVER (You Talking To Me?)
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James Dover is a writer living in Los Angeles and after this posting just pretentious enough to force people into calling him James instead of Jim, Jimmy or Jimbo. A recent 25-year high school reunion from Wheatridge High School (Home of the Farmers, no joke) in Colorado made him realize he was slightly bio-deprived and he should accomplish more or learn to lie better. He is currently looking for a TV writing position during the upcoming staffing season. Past articles have appeared in Advertising Age magazine and The Rocky Mountain News.

JIMMY WALSH DOYLE (Slan Abhoille); (Father in Heaven)
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Jimmy has almost been on some of the best shows on TV, but he is most recognizable as the guy who can't drink his coffee in a Chevy, or the guy whose dog dances for Kibbles 'n Bits, or the guy who won't buy the TV at Circuit City with his little son... he brings his own twist of deviant sexuality to the most wholesome of dad roles. He recently fulfilled a life-long dream by playing a zero in a cage.

Jimmy was a member of the touring and resident companies of The Second City. His first solo show, He is Risen was performed at the Mercury Theater in Chicago. His solo work has been featured in group shows by the Pansy Kings' Cotillion and The Sweat Girls in Chicago, as well as guest spots with various groups at L.A. Theaters including The Actor's Gang, the Comedy Union, the Falcon, and the Lillian. Jimmy is also a regular contributor to L.A.'s reading series Sit n Spin, and is appearing in the critically acclaimed Hollywood Hellhouse.

MOLLY EACH (Plan B)
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Molly Each blames her Minnesota roots for her love of snow, ice, and broomball. Despite her current Chicago address, she'll always be -- in Bob Dylan's words -- a Girl from the North Country. By day she covers style and fashion for a slew of Windy City publications including the Chicago Tribune, Chicago Tribune Magazine, CS, Time Out Chicago, and Chicago Collection. By night, she's a fiction/creative non-fiction storyteller, and her work has appeared in Hair Trigger, Annalemma Quarterly and toasted-cheese.com.

Molly's the co-founder and editor of No Touching Magazine (a literary magazine of creative non-fiction) and she's on the Story Development team for the super awesome storytelling series 2nd Story. Right now she is probably listening to The Beatles, baking lots of cookies, spending too much money on clothing, or hanging out with her stellar friends and family-- perhaps all at once. A recent Ragdale resident, she is currently at work on her first book. Read her scribblings at www.mollyeach.com.

BARRY EDELSTEIN (Another Day, Another Dollar)
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Barry Edelstein is a theater director who has staged plays around New York and across the country. He has directed many celebrated actors, including Uma Thurman, Gwyneth Paltrow, Kevin Kline, Alfred Molina, Anthony LaPaglia, Eric Stoltz, John Turturro, Julianna Margulies, David Strathairn, Frances McDormand, Jeffrey Wright, John Cullum, Carol Kane and others.

For five years he was Artistic Director of Off Broadway's award-winning Classic Stage Company. He directed the fiftieth-anniversary revival of Arthur Miller's ALL MY SONS at the Williamstown Theater Festival. It later transferred to New York's Roundabout Theater, where it won the Lucille Lortel Award, and was nominated for the Drama League Award for Best Revival.

Edelstein has written for the stage, and also about theater in the New York Times, Washington Post, American Theater Magazine, and others. He taught acting at the Juilliard School for seven years, NYU's Graduate Acting Program for four, and has taught masterclasses around the USA and the world. He lives in L.A. with his wife, actress Hilit Pace, where he is prepping to shoot his first film. Meanwhile, because those things take forever, he teaches acting at USC and will direct a play at the Mark Taper Forum this fall.

ROSS ELDRIDGE (Abstracts and Brief Chronicles)
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Ross Eldridge, a Brit living in Bermuda, writes full-time. After finishing school in the UK, Ross returned to Bermuda and started painting, writing, as well as editing and publishing the work of young people, which led to stints at co-producing local theatre.

Writing a weekly newspaper column, My World and Welcome to It, in the quaintly-named Mid-Ocean News gave Ross the confidence to write about anything. Ross wrote the outline for a long short-story entitled "Eirenicon," during the 18 hours that Hurricane Fabian battered Bermuda in September 2003.

PAUL FEIG (The Big Red Shoe Diaries)
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Paul Feig created and co-executive produced NBC's acclaimed show Freaks and Geeks which garnered him nominations for two comedy writing Emmy Awards, one for the pilot episode and one for the series finale, which he also directed.

He has been Co-Executive Producer on The Office, and directed many episodes of the show as well as countless other TV shows including 30 Rock, Nurse Jackie, Arrested Development, Parks and Recreation, Weeds, and Mad Men. He is currently Executive Producer and director on the upcoming Untitled Kristen Wiig Project

Paul is also the author of two acclaimed memoirs Kick Me - Adventures in Adolescence (Random House), and Superstud: Too Much Information About the Author (Three Rivers Press).

ELISABETH R. FINCH (Lucky Day), (All Politics Aside)
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Elisabeth R. Finch earned her MFA in Screen and TV Writing from USC and BA in Creative Writing and Drama at Carnegie Mellon, won the 2008-2009 Jerome Fellowship for Playwriting, and finally changed her New Jersey driver’s license after six years of living in L.A.

Elisabeth's work is featured in Women in Film’s Traction magazine, and has been performed at the WorkShop Theater in New York and the Kennedy Center/American College Theater Festival. She is currently a writers’ assistant on HBO's True Blood where she successfully drinks her weight in Diet Coke on a daily basis.

Elisabeth taught at the American School of Madrid, learning no Spanish whatsoever (except "swing set" and "furnished apartment"); received the Television Academy Internship for Script Writing; stuffed dead squirrels in high school for extra credit; and can recite 147 prepositions on command. She has neither a sense of smell nor sense of humor.

FELISA FINN (The Clapper)
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Felisa F. Finn is a Los Angeles-based writer who loves fragmented sentences. In a previous century she was a blue ribbon swimmer from New England with an affinity for Spaulding Gray. After receiving a fine art degree in Colorado she founded and directed an alternative art gallery called Space Available, Inc. Felisa studied journalism at UCLA and fiction writing with Kate Braverman, who told her never to write about pain. She now believes this was merely a lapse of synapse.

Currently she is turning her blog www.mygirlstella.blogspot.com into a book for people who love dogs and for anyone grieving the loss of a loved one. She often writes about pain and other annoying facets of life. She would like to thank her husband, Oliver, and Fresh Yarn for supporting the personal essay.

ANNE FLANAGAN (At Your Cervix); (Making Do)
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Anne Flanagan is a Los Angeles based writer/teacher/private investigator. Anne's stage play, Artifice, won the 2006 Mountain Playhouse International Comedy Playwrighting award and is currently a finalist in both the Dayton Playhouse "Future Fest" award and the McLaren Memorial Playwrights Competition. Anne has also received the Julie Harris Playwright's Award, The Plays for the 21st Century award, AFI/Sony's "Visions of the US" award, and was a top ten finalist for the Chesterfield Film Writer's Project two years running

KATE FLANNERY (Not Really a Star F#*ker)
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Kate plays Meredith on NBC's The Office. Her comedy lounge act, The Lampshades, has been running in Hollywood at the IO West stage for over four years, and was seen to the US Comedy Arts Festival in Aspen. Kate's other TV work includes the Bernie Mac Show, Boomtown, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Jimmy Kimmel, Comedy Central's Cross Balls, and she was the voice of Lucy in a Robert Smigel Cartoon on SNL.

She played Neely O'Hara in the Off Broadway hit, Valley of the Dolls at the Circle in the Square in NYC and LA's Bing Theatre (she's on the upcoming Valley of the Dolls' DVD extras). A former member of Second City's National Tour Co., she is an original member of Chicago's Annoyance Theater where she created over 15 shows including the Miss Vagina Pageant and the Real Live Brady Bunch (playing over 30 cities and the Kennedy Center). LA audiences have recently seen her as the teen prostitute and Blair's sister in the Phacts of Life at the Renberg Theatre, and in the Lily Tomlin / Jane Wagner production of Three Feet Under at the Evidence Room.

Kate can be heard on the local Air America radio show, Ravenhurst. Kate performed with They Might Be Giants' John Flansburgh's band, Monopuff (you can hear her on their album, "It's Fun To Steal"). She is the musical director of the Los Angeles Drama Club (teaching Shakespeare to 5 to 8 year olds). Kate graduated from the University of the Arts in Philadelphia where her family owns a bar. Kate's website is www.theLampshades.com

Katie then wrote and produced for various U.S. television shows and has written several television movies including ABC's Mary and Rhoda for Mary Tyler Moore and Valerie Harper, and To Live For for ABC.

She co-wrote the film Miss Congeniality and wrote and Executive Produced a six-hour miniseries for ABC based on the first Little House on the Prairie novel by Laura Ingalls Wilder. Katie was also a writer/producer on Desperate Housewives in its first season, and has most rencently adapted the best-selling book Prayers for Bobby, by Leroy Aarons, into a groundbreaking film for Lifetime Television.

CHARLES FREERICKS (My First Time)
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Charles Freericks comes from Paramus, NJ and is thus a native "Parasite." His plays The Fourth Chair and Eight Miles From New York have received multiple productions in New York City, Los Angeles and one regional theatre, and have both won full-length playwright's awards. He has recently finished a book of 39 essays about growing up entitled My Imaginary Friend Was Too Cool To Hang Out With Me. He has performed in LA reading series at Sit'n Spin, Word Nerd, Tasty Words and Spark. He has executive produced and co-executive produced television movies. He is a former television development executive with New Line, NBC, Paramount and CBS.

AMY FRIEDMAN (Breathless); (The Adorer)
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Amy Friedman has published two memoirs, Kick the Dog and Shoot the Cat and Nothing Sacred. But since she published them in Canada where she was a well-known newspaper columnist, prison activist and shepherd, the books aren't easy to find. Easier to find is her syndicated newspaper column of children's stories, Tell Me A Story which can be read in newspapers throughout the world.

Amy teaches Writing the Personal Essay and Creative Nonfiction at UCLA Extension, and is just launching her new course, From Page to Stage (www.frompagetostage.com). She vows her novel, The Murderer's House, will be published before long.

CARRIE FRIEDMAN (Ike To My Tina)
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Raised on the mean streets of Fox Point, Wisconsin, Carrie Friedman is left-handed but plays all of her sports right-handed. She started writing when she was nine. During the two decades since, she has trained in and pursued every form of writing, including poetry, screenwriting, novels, essays, TV, and playwriting. Many of the fruits of her labor haven’t been seen/made/published… yet. (Though some can be found on her website, www.carriefriedmania.com)

Carrie’s been published in periodicals such as Newsweek (for a full list, visit her website), and she has a monthly column called “Discount Therapy” at Mad As Hell Club (link available through her website). When she’s not writing or studying to be a home-stager through online courses, she’s updating (you guessed it) her website www.carriefriedmania.com.

ERIC FRIEDMAN (Me and the Kid); (Inward Bound); (Fear and Loathing); (J-Dad)
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Eric has written for a bunch of TV shows, including The Oblongs on the WB, Crank Yankers on Comedy Central, and Drake and Josh on Nickelodeon. A few years back, he was nominated for an Emmy, and even though that translated into absolutely zero career advancement, it did make his mother (and all the friends she bragged about it to) very happy. He is currently writing for the show Cheap Seats on ESPN Classic.

Eric also created and co-produces Show and Tell a quasi-monthly show in Los Angeles, which features writers performing monologuey stuff on stage.

MEGAN FULWILER (How The Food Network Saved My Life)
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Megan Fulwiler teaches autobiography, American women writers, and the history and theory of the essay at a liberal arts college in Albany, NY. She’s passionate about Ashtanga yoga, second-hand shopping, breaking in her new kayak, and planning adventures to southern locales. Even if it’s Newburgh. Her radio commentaries have appeared on North East Public Radio and are forthcoming on The Best of Our Knowledge, a nationally syndicated public radio program. This is her first published personal essay.

ANTONELLA GAMBOTTO-BURKE (The Golden Mean)
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Antonella Gambotto-Burke is the author of four books, the most recent being The Eclipse (available through Broken Ankle Books), which has been published in four languages and featured on the cover of at least one national paper's review section. First published in a literary magazine when she was fifteen, Antonella went on to write features, literary criticism, and cover stories for The Independent on Sunday Review in London, Harper's Bazaar, The South China Morning Post, The Weekend Australian, My Child, and various other publications.

In addition to freelancing for three newspapers and numerous magazines, she has a new book up for auction, is in the (slow) process of relocating to New York, and is a fulltime attachment parent to the radiant, adorable, and very tall baby daughter she shares with husband Alexander, a writer for The Guardian in London. Antonella's website is www.antonellagambotto.com

MARIN GAZZANGIA (How We Met)
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Marin Gazzangia has written a bunch of stuff. Most recently she was co-author of Maverick Mind: A Mother's Story of Solving the Mystery of her Unreachable, Unteachable, Silent Son (Putnam). She is also co-editor of The Breast: An Anthology (Global City Press). Her play So Close (which she appeared in Off-Broadway last spring) was a Critic's Pick of Time Out NY. But what she really wants to do is act.

Marin has been cast as a lead role in Beth Lauren's Three Days in Dublin opposite Gretchen Mol, Connie Britton, and Jared Harris, filming in summer 2005. She's got a big part in Gray Miller's forthcoming (untitled) film and is featured in Pretend (dir. Julie Talen) which won Best Fiction Film at Festivalito in the Canary Islands and screened at Lincoln Center's Video Festival (2003), the MoMA's Mediascope series (2004), the Hamptons, Vancouver, and other film festivals.

Other film & TV: As the World Turns (CBS), Lying in Bed (dir. Vlamyr Vizcaya, Bogota & Cartagena Festivals) and the short film Rumpy (dir. Lauren Timmons, Savannah Film Festival). On stage, she originated the role of "She" in The Bigger Thing (Pamela Popeson) in New York and at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival 2002. She graduated from Columbia College and has a master's in Creative Writing from City College. For more info: www.maringazzaniga.com

JOHN GEIRLAND (True Crime Whore)
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John Geirland is a former editor-in-chief of the online entertainment site Shockwave.com, where he was all set to make several million dollars from his stock options… until reality set in. He covered Internet entertainment for the Industry Standard and other new media magazines -- most of which were successful publications bursting with ads… until reality set in. His book DIGITAL BABYLON (Arcade) is an informal history of Hollywood and the Internet. Nowadays, he is a frequent contributor to WIRED magazine.

John spends his free time conducting anthropological work in the "Land Behind the Hollywood Sign." He can be seen scribbling field notes in a tattered blue notebook while observing the peculiar habits and bizarre rituals of the local inhabitants. He is currently working on a children's book and is all set to make several million dollars… unless reality sets in. Again.

ALEXANDER GELFAND (Meet the Satans)
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No matter when you happen to read this, chances are that Alexander Gelfand will be standing over his kitchen sink, eating -- or drinking -- something that he shouldn't be. Gelfand's work has appeared in the New York Times, the Chicago Tribune, the Village Voice, the Forward, and Wired.com. A former ethnomusicologist and sometime jazz pianist, he has drummed for animal sacrifice in Ghana and played piano for nude modeling sessions at the Society of Illustrators in New York City. Born and raised in Montreal, he has acclimated so thoroughly to New York that he almost doesn't gag when he sees someone pissing against his minivan in broad daylight.

ERIC GILLILAND (Fishing); (The Snuggery)
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Eric, who is writing this and feels odd referring to himself in the third person, is a TV writer/producer who has written for a bunch of shows. The ones that greet him with the fewest blank stares when mentioned are The Wonder Years, Roseanne, That 70's Show, and, for some reason, Who's The Boss?. He spent four years working on Roseanne and has the damaged liver to show for it. While there, he gathered up a Peabody Award and a Golden Globe for best comedy something-or-other, a few GLAAD awards, and a WGA nomination for best writing in comedy. Enough people got fired that he eventually wound up running the show as its executive producer/head writer.

After that, he was in "development" for years and years and years and years and years. Nothing much to speak of there. He's written a couple pilots for HBO, one of which (co-written by Mark McAdam) was named by some WGA Magazine list as one of the best un-shot pilots ever. Ever! Presently, he's executive producing and writing the series My Boys for TBS (they're kinda like a network, but without all those pesky "viewers"), and is signed to write a pilot for Sony to be produced by his good friend Jamie Tarses. (I think that's how she spells it.)

Recently, he started performing with Mike Myers in small theaters in New York, playing Mike's second banana as he developed his new Guru Pitka character. The movie starts "lensing" in Toronto this summer. Eric's not "in" it, though he plans to visit "the" set and intends "to" finagle "a" free meal or "two out" of it"." Taking a break from TV for a few years, Eric produced the documentary God Grew Tired of Us: The Story of The Lost Boys of Sudan, which won both the Grand Jury Prize and the Audience Award at the Sundance Film Festival, and the Best Documentary Award at the Deauville Film Festival. Cool, right? Eric lives in New York City because it's better.

RANDI GOODMAN (I Hope We Can Be Friends)
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Randi Goodman is a Los Angeles-based Teaching Artist, specializing in leading performing arts workshops for young children. A graduate of New York University's Tisch School of the Arts, Randi is the owner of Not Your Mama's Drama, regularly engaging children in enrichment classes that include such varied subjects as musical theater, stand-up comedy, and superhero training. Randi has also collaborated on youth theatre projects with Autry National Center, Zimmer Children's Museum, and MOCA. When she is not teaching Kids, Randi likes to hang out with Adults and perform her written material in various Los Angeles storytelling forums, including Show and Tell and SPARK. She also likes to Sneak Into Hotel Pools and Go Swimming. Randi is the author of The Daily Randi (www.thedailyrandi.blogspot.com), a popular blog she has maintained for nearly five years. Gratefully, Randi No Longer lives with Roommates.

DOUG GORDON (The Beard)
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Doug Gordon is the author of The Engaged Groom (www.engagedgroom.com) which was published by Harper Collins in 2005. He has appeared on The Today Show and the Martha Stewart Living Radio Network and has been quoted on the subject of weddings in newspapers and magazines across the country. He is also a TV writer and producer and was on the staff of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire for four years. His credits include shows for VH1, Court TV, The History Channel, and a series of public service announcements starring Meredith Vieira.

He studies improv and performs at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre in New York. An avowed agnostic, he lives in Brooklyn, New York with his wife Leora Kaye, a rabbi. He no longer has a beard.

MEREDITH GORDON (My Mother-In-Law's Vagina)
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Meredith Gordon is a former actress and stand up comic. In addition to
creating challenges on The Apprentice, Seasons 1 and 2, and doing punch ups on some animated flicks, Meredith has had two plays she's written produced -- Life in LA, Big Dreams/Small Hooters, and her one woman show, The Bride Is From California. Meredith often contributes articles to magazines including Cosmopolitan, and has performed stand up all around Los Angeles. She also publishes her own blog prettysharp.blogspot.com

LORI GOTTLIEB (Sleepless in JFK)
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Lori Gottlieb is the author of the national bestseller, Stick Figure: A Diary of My Former Self (Simon & Schuster), an American Library Association "Best Books 2001" selection and a Borders "Original New Voice" title. Based on her childhood diaries, Stick Figure was optioned for film by Martin Scorsese, who described Lori’s quirky teen narrator as "Holden Caulfield goes on a misguided diet."

Lori is also a frequent commentator for NPR’s All Things Considered, and her radio features have aired on public radio’s This American Life, Weekend Edition, and Marketplace.

As a journalist and columnist, Lori has written for a variety of publications, including The New York Times, The Los Angeles Times, Time, People, The Atlantic, Elle, Glamour, Redbook, Self, Parents, Slate, and Salon.

Lori's other books include: Inside the Cult of Kibu: And Other Tales of the Millennial Gold Rush (Basic Books), I Love You, Nice to Meet You (St. Martin's Press, 2006), written with Kevin Bleyer of The Daily Show. Her newest book, Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough (Dutton), is a New York Times and Los Angeles Times best seller. The film rights have been optioned by Tobey Maguire for Warner Bros.

DANA GOULD (You Think You're So Special)
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Boston native Dana Gould starred in multiple HBO specials as well as regular performances on Late Night With Conan O'Brien and The Late Show With David Letterman.

As an actor he appeared on The Ben Stiller Show, Seinfeld, and was a regular on the NBC sit-com Working. He can also be seen in recently-released film Girls Will Be Girls. Dana is currently a writer on The Simpsons. Audio files of his stand-up work, as well as his short film Soul Mates, can be accessed at www.danagould.com. Despite his busy schedule, he still performs stand up at Largo and The M Bar, both in Los Angeles.

JONATHAN GREEN (The Rain in Spain)
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Jonathan Green is President of the Texas Telecommuting Advisory Council, host of The Green House on Milwaukee Newsradio 620 WTMJ (3-6 PM weekdays), a 19th-century British turfgrass pioneer, and a guy who Googled his name to steal the above credits for this bio.

This particular Jonathan Green has written for the Late Show With David Letterman, The Showbiz Show with David Spade, The Andy Dick Show, CBS’s The Class, and a bunch of other stuff you didn’t watch.

TANYA GREVE (Pieces)
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Tanya Greve grew up in Canada. She began writing as a teenager, after discovering the poignant short stories of Morley Callaghan. Always a performer, she moved to New York City and graduated from The Neighborhood Playhouse. She acted on stage and film, originating the role of Patricia in the celebrated play Kicking Inside.

Tanya now lives in Los Angeles where she continues to write and perform. She balances her creative pursuits with teaching Kundalini yoga and meditation, where she encourages students to live in their creative potential.

ANNABELLE GURWITCH (Slouching Toward Gratitude)
(Something of Her Very Own); (I'll Take Annabelle Gartwick to Block); (The Tyranny of Happiness)
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Annabelle Gurwitch is an actress and writer. She first gained a wide comedic following during her years co-hosting Dinner & a Movie on TBS. Annabelle turned her experience of being canned by Woody Allen into the Off- Broadway play, touring show, book and documentary film Fired! Her film premiered on TV as a Showtime Comedy Special and been screened everywhere from The South West Film Festival to The Department of Labor on Capitol Hill. Time Magazine cited Annabelle in their cover story “10 Ideas that are Changing the World” for her Fired! documentary film which Oprah Magazine called, “entertaining and slyly subversive.”

She’s been a regular commentator on Day to Day and All Things Considered on NPR and a humor columnist for The Nation Magazine.com. She has hosted TV shows on ABC, VHI, STYLE and HBO. Her acting credits include: Medium, Boston Legal, Seinfeld, and films: Shaggy Dog and Melvin Goes to Dinner. Her work off-Broadway garnered her a place in The New York Times Top Ten Performances in Theatre of the Year 2002. Her essays have appeared in: The Los Angeles Times, Los Angeles Magazine, Child, Glamour, and two anthologies: Note to Self and Rejected! She hosts the series WA$TED! on The Planet Green Network. You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up is her second book and second marriage.

MICHELLE HAMILL (Sparkle Head); (The Gift Bag)
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Michelle is a native New Yorker who recently moved back to her home town and can die happy now. Like a Desilu Production she is of Irish and Cuban descent.

She is currently under contract with ABC as a writer in development. She's the author of several screenplays. Some optioned. Another retooled for Warner Brothers, keeping George Clooney in mind (not a bad gig!) And her short The Product of 3C is set to shoot winter, 2006.

As a published poet her work has appeared in numerous literary journals including Borders Books Anthology: The Best Poets of Los Angeles. And these days she can be found lassoing her poetry into a memoir play about her bi-coastal childhood. From NYC to LA. Growing up in a trunk. Where almost everyone she ever knew had a head shot...

EARL HAMNER (A Letter to My Children)
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Earl is the author of six novels. Two of them, Spencer's Mountain and The Homecoming, were made into films and became the basis for the long-running television series, The Waltons. At the height of its popularity, the series, which Earl wrote and Executive Produced, was seen by as many as 50 million viewers on a typical Thursday night.

Earl has written for such distinguished shows as The Twilight Zone and CBS Playhouse. He is also the creator of the long-running series Falcon Crest. His motion picture credits include the screenplay for the cult film, Palm Springs Weekend and the animated feature, Charlotte's Web.

Earl's books have been translated into ten foreign languages.

JACK HANNIBAL (Lost & Found)
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Actor/writer/director Jack Hannibal's stage credits include the fucking awful Broadway production of Shakespeare's Macbeth starring Glenda Jackson, Christopher Plummer, and Cherry Jones. Plummer knocked his tooth out with a broad sword. A story for another time. A member of the Circle Repertory Company's prestigious Laboratory Theater for over ten years, Mr. Hannibal worked with such notables as playwrights Lanford Wilson and Terrence McNally, the director Marshall Mason, and actors Christopher Walken and William Hurt. At the West Bank Theater he starred in A Minor Incident opposite Singer/Songwriter Carole King, and at the Hartford Stage, he starred in Marivou's False Admissions, under the direction of Mark Lamos.

Mr. Hannibal's television credits include Without a Trace, Miracles, Push, NV, Felicity, The Drew Carey Show, Guiding Light, and CSI: New York. As a writer/director Mr. Hannibal is... just getting started. This winter he directed Bugsy Malone and Guys & Dolls at the Norris Center for the Performing Arts in Palos Verdes. Mr. Hannibal holds degrees in Creative Writing and Literature from Sarah Lawrence College, and is a graduate of the Neighborhood Playhouse School of the Theater where he studied acting under Sanford Meisner. He teaches acting privately in Santa Monica and at UCLA Extension.

LARRY DEAN HARRIS (Everything I know about Christmas, I learned from my Sister: A Sibling-Inspired Survival Guide to the Holidays); (Baseball, Mom and Banana Cream Pie); (Over the River and Through the Woods); (Bigotry, Cross-Dress Day and the Luckey Elementary 4th Grade Production of Sounder )
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Larry Dean Harris, Ohio-born and embarrassed, is an award-winning playwright and ad copywriter. His play, Like an Old Song, was recently optioned as a film and the pilot for his original sitcom, The Mamas & the Papas, is currently in development hell.

Larry is currently writing a series of essays entitled Witness to the Bizarre, an autobiographical fusion of current and past events that may someday be a book or one of those self-indulgent one-man shows. He's also a music critic, responsible for www.grownupmusic.com.

AARON HARTZLER (Star Treatment)
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Aaron Hartzler is an actor and writer whose autobiographical performances have been seen in New York, Los Angeles and San Francisco. His show, Spanked! received a GLAAD Media Award nomination for Outstanding Off-Off Broadway Performance. A sitcom based on his shows, and pitched to 20th TV in 2005, met an untimely demise before it was scripted when the networks passed. If not auditioning for 5-line co-star roles, Aaron can be found reading, writing, knitting, surfing, running, jumping and climbing trees.

SUSAN HENDERSON (Camus Beat You To It)
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Susan Henderson's debut novel will be published by St. Martin's Press in Spring of '08. She is the recipient of an Academy of American Poets award and a grant from the Ludwig Vogelstein Foundation. She recently helped judge the "20-Minute Stories Contest" at McSweeney's. Her work has appeared in Zoetrope, The Pittsburgh Quarterly, North Dakota Quarterly, Bellevue Literary Review, South Dakota Review, The MacGuffin, Arkansas Review: A Journal of Delta Studies (nominated for a Pushcart Prize, 2004), North Atlantic Review, The Green Hills Literary Lantern, Opium, Other Voices, Amazon Shorts (nominated for a Pushcart Prize, 2006), The World Trade Center Memorial, and The Future Dictionary of America (McSweeney's Books, 2004), edited by Jonathan Safran Foer, Nicole Krauss, and Dave Eggers.

She blogs at LitPark.com, and occasionally at Huffington Post and Brad Listi's The Nervous Breakdown. Her husband is a costume designer, filmmaker, and professor. They live in NY with their two boys.

LEIGH ANN HENION (Postcards of What was Missing)
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Leigh Ann Henion is a freelance writer and photographer based in Boone, North Carolina. Her essays, articles and photographs have appeared, or are forthcoming, in publications such as Smithsonian, The Sun, Hemispheres, Orion and The Christian Science Monitor. During her tenure as a staff writer for The Mountain Times, Leigh Ann published hundreds of feature stories and photographs. She has received numerous state and national press association awards for her work.

Leigh Ann is currently working on a collection of essays that interweave her experiences living in Southern Appalachia with her travels in various mountainous regions of the world. She holds a B.A. in Cultural Studies, as well as an M.A. in Appalachian Studies. Additionally, she is a graduate of The Salt Institute for Documentary Studies. Visit www.leighannhenion.com to read more of Leigh Ann's work.

SEAN HETHERINGTON (Marshall Pitchrock, Folsom Bulldog)
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Sean Hetherington began his stand-up comedy career in 2003 opening for bands in Sacramento, California. His first performance was pre-show for a band called Burn!Pussy!Burn! at the Fox and the Goose Pub. He developed his act at the same time that he lost 100 pounds. After he lost the weight he began writing The Downward Spiral, an online diary of his struggle with food, a new body and 20-something angst. Based in Los Angeles, Hetherington performs at high schools, comedy clubs, and spoken word events. He loves peace, ugly dogs and Diet Vanilla Cherry Dr. Pepper, and hopes to one day write an essay in which one solves the other two. He recently finished his first manuscript of original essays to be published when a really hacky sequel to the bible is necessary. It'll totally jump the shark.

MEREDITH HOFFA (Please Form Line Here); (Saturday)
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Meredith Hoffa had her first essay published in The Boston Globe Magazine when she was 18. After college she pursued journalism, working most recently at PBS' The NewsHour with Jim Lehrer. She now lives in Los Angeles, where she is a writer and actor. She has performed at such places as the Groundlings, Upright Citizen's Brigade, and at the Elephant Theatre in Martinis for Dinner, the sketch show she co-created.

A finalist last year for the ABC/Disney Writing Fellowship, her first-person stories have appeared in the New York Times and in the upcoming book Rejected (Villard) based on the NYC stage show of the same name. Meredith can be heard regularly on XM radio's "A Complete Waste of Time" and seen regularly at The Coffee Bean, where she listens to other peoples' conversations while pretending to type. She is a Boston native and a graduate of Wesleyan University. For more info go to www.meredithhoffa.com.

PAMELA HOLM (My Brilliant Mistake); (The Most Tedious Compliment)
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Pamela Holm is the author of the novel The Night Garden, published by MacAdam/Cage and chosen as a BookSense Pick '05, and The Toaster Broke, So We’re Getting Married, a memoir. Lovesick, the Cat Allergy Musical which she wrote, premiered in SF in 05, and will be launched again in May '07. Her essays have appeared in The San Francisco Chronicle, The Denver Post, Violet Magazine, Fresh Yarn, and various other publications. She is currently working on a new novel called Bad Advice, and writing snarky horoscopes for the astrology.com website.

Pamela lives in San Francisco where she teaches creative writing and has a weekly radio show on Pirate Cat Radio FM where she plays awesome music and interviews aging rockstars. To find out more info go to www.pamelaholm.com.

JEFF HOPKINS (My Grandfather the Pimp); (Why I Joined the Camp Fire Girls)
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Jeff Hopkins is an actor/writer/comic living in Los Angeles. His short film Draw The Pirate premiered at the Aspen Comedy Fest and he wrote another short comedy, P.1, which played on the HBO Comedy channel. He has appeared in various feature films including Joe Somebody with Tim Allen and Sugar & Spice with Mena Suvari. His favorite TV role was an episode of Real Stories of the Highway Patrol in which he robbed a bank with a hand grenade. So, yes, he is in need of a good agent.

He is a series regular on Attack of The Show on the G4 Network, and performs as a comic at venues all over Los Angeles. Check out www.jeff-hopkins.com.

WENDY HOPKINS (A Mother's Love of Theater)
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Wendy Hopkins is a writer/director living in Los Angeles. Most recently she co-created and wrote the hit Canadian television series The Tournament. She created American Freak and Nature Boy for Comedy Central and is currently writing a pilot and a feature film.

Wendy is an alumni of The Second City, a documentary filmmaker (Waitress, Behind the Wheel, Ice Cowboys) and has performed her stand up comedy and one-woman shows in Canada, New York and at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival.

JENNIFER HOPPE (Midlife Crisis)
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Jennifer Hoppe was a juvenile delinquent who found in Hollywood a warm, validating bath of self-absorption and rickety morals. She has written feature scripts (with writing partner Nancy Fichman) for Paramount, Universal and Universal Focus, HBO, Columbia, Dreamworks, Miramax, and Warner Brothers. Last year Anne Heche starred in Fichman & Hoppe's The Dead Will Tell for CBS. Jennifer has a dog named Spoon (pictured), a cat named Shirley and a girl named Adele.

DARLENE HUNT (If Loving My Realtor is Wrong...)
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Darlene Hunt is an actress/writer/comedian originally from Kentucky. As an actress, Darlene is about to start shooting Help Me, Help You, a single camera comedy pilot for ABC starring Ted Danson. As a writer, she has written 6 comedy pilots in the last 4 years for various networks. Thank goodness they keep passing on them so she has more time to act.

Other writing credits include an episode of Will & Grace in which she also guest starred. As a comedian, she has performed with the Groundlings Theatre and been featured at the Chicago Comedy Festival and the U.S. Comedy Arts Festival in Aspen. She's experimenting with new hobbies because she fears and running out of things to do when she gets old.

MELANIE HUTSELL (Beauty Hurts)
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Melanie Hutsell was born and raised in the foothills of the Smoky Mountains of Tennessee. After a very frustrating two years at the University of Tennessee, understudying the director's daughter who she happened to look identical to, Melanie found her way to Chicago's Second City where she studied improvisation. She then became one of the first members of the accliamed Annoyance Theatre. There she began creating characters through improv and performing in shows like That Darned Anti-Christ! It was her portrayal of Miss Tennessee in The Miss Vagina Pageant, and Jan Brady in The Real Live Brady Bunch that caught the attention of talent scouts from Saturday Night Live. She joined the SNL cast in 1991. Through her writing and portrayals of a demonic yet lovable Tridelt, Jan Brady, and Tori Spelling, she won the hearts of college students and gay men across America!

After moving to LA, she continued to write and perform with the long running sketch comedy group, Margot's Bush, and settled in Santa Monica where she and her husband Fred are raising two children.

Melanie has recently written and performed her own solo show, Party Mom!, directed by Jill Soloway, and can be seen performing around town reading her essays at Sit 'n' Spin, Drunk On Stage and many others spoken word shows. She now spends her days writing screenplays and eating like the holidays never ended.

SUSAN ISAACS (My Own Private September 11th)
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Susan Isaacs is one of those brilliant artists who's managed to screw up every lucky break she's ever had. She graduated from UCLA film, was in the Groundlings, got her MFA in screenwriting from USC, had a sketch comedy group in New York; has been in numerous TV episodes and films, she even did a Pakistani accent for a DeLoitte and Tuche training video. She's read and performed her essays and solo work at Sit N Spin, Show and Tell, Electric Lodge, PSNBC and the New York Solo Play Lab. And yet, Susan is still single, living above a garage with a cat, and has to do a survival job.

The good news is, she's been writing and reading her original essays on NPR's Weekend America. Which almost makes up for her total lack of success anywhere else. Which she didn't offer to explain, as she had to go restock the Big Macs.

You can find out more about Susan at http://www.susanisaacs.net, or read her blog at http://susanisaacs.blogspot.com

DAVID ISRAEL (Pulling the Profile), (Blahnik's Bag)
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David Israel's first novel, Behind Everyman has just been published by Random House/Ballantine. He recently completed an original cable dramedy set in and around the New York City subway system called Step In, Stand Clear and is currently developing an original sitcom.

As a composer, he's had numerous commissions from groups as far ranging as Twyla Tharp Dance and the American Symphony Orchestra. His music has been performed extensively throughout the U.S and in a dozen countries worldwide. He's performed his solo rock and roll music at venues as diverse as Lincoln Center and CBGBs in NYC. At the age of twenty-three, he was hired by Leonard Bernstein's children to complete, edit and publish the late composer's works -- a job he did for five years. Among others, David completed and published definitive editions of, West Side Story, Mass, On the Town, and Wonderful Town.

To find out more about David, check out his website: www.davidisrael.net

LORI ADA JAROSLOW (Sunrise... Sunset)
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Lori's acting work includes playing Rizzo in Grease on Broadway, and Tzeitel in Fiddler on the Roof directed by Jerome Robbins. She toured nationally with both shows, and as Donna McKechnie's only back-up singer/dancer in her post Chorus Line act. Lori toured internationally as Bloody Mary in South Pacific. Off-Broadway and regional acting work includes lead roles in Funny Girl, Gypsy, Nunsense and Othello. Lori has performed extensively singing in concerts, clubs and cabarets on land and at sea. She has taught acting in NY and LA.

Lori is currently writing a musical called Left Turns with composer Fonda Feingold. Excerpts from her original solo shows have been seen at The Hudson Theatre and the Whitmore Lindley Theatre, both in LA. Lori has written original screenplays and plays and musicals, which she's also directed. She is currently writing a collection of personal essays.

Lori is an active member of Firerose Productions, a LA non-profit 501 (c) 3 that is devoted to bringing arts into the community.

DES JEDEIKIN (Bunny)
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Des Jedeikin was born in Jacksonville, Florida. She moved to NYC when she was ten. If you ask her where she is from, she will say NYC. She is currently working on a collection of personal essays, while she puts the finishing touches on a musical she has written based on the life and death of Jonbenet Ramsey. She is completely neutral on the guilt or innocence of John and Patsy Ramsey.

Des bides her time on the infamous waitlist for the Groundling's Advanced level by trying to acquire more impressive credits for her bio. Other than that she lives for America's Next Top Model.

ELEANOR BAYNE JOHNSON (America the Beantiful)
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Eleanor Johnson lives in Oakland, California, and is recovering from Brooklyn accent withdrawal and Subway-deprivation-induced delirium tremens through intensive produce therapy and excessive exposure to temperate weather.

She is a poet, essayist, teacher and doctoral candidate at U C Berkeley's English Department. She was a finalist in New Letters Poetry Magazine's 2005 contest, and is co-editor of an inchoate poetry journal called Brutus, whose mascot is a Manatee. She is currently working on a translation project, focusing on translating medieval poetry and prose into modern English verse. Part of this project will soon be published online at www.fascicle.com. Most of her time and energy, however, go to her dissertation (on 14th century law and literature) and the undergraduate course she teaches on "Forms and Themes of Obsession in English Literature."

ERIC JOHNSON (Obviously, Jazz)
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Eric Johnson is a Chicago-raised writer currently living on the banks of the Mississippi river in rural Wisconsin. A Pushcart nominee, his work has appeared in places like Red Herring, the Rockford Review, Mid West Outdoors, Springfield! Magazine and Travel Naturally. Hunting Agents and Other Small Game, his agent quest piece, can be found in the archives of his weekly column (www.BurlyFlow.com).

Like most English majors (he studied with Pulitzer Prize winner Richard Russo at Southern Illinois University), Eric is a popular pro bono editor, though nobody believes him when he says he never had to take a grammar class. Perhaps not coincidentally, he's still looking for an agent.

JEFF KAHN (The Zen of Mediocrity); (The World's Worst Waiter... Ever)
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Jeff Kahn is a writer/performer who began his career on MTV’s The Ben Stiller Show. A few years later, he won an Emmy award for writing on FOX’s The Ben Stiller Show. Jeff has written on several other shows including, Later with Greg Kinnear, Austin Stories and Dilbert. He also has written and produced numerous television pilots, in particular, a spin-off of All American Girl starring Margaret Cho. He can be seen on HBO reruns of Curb Your Enthusiasm, Entourage, and The Larry Sanders Show, and in the films, Tropic Thunder, 40-Year-Old Virgin, and The Cable Guy. Online, Jeff is featured on the show, The Writer’s Room. His writing can be read on Huffington Post and in his wife’s terrific and very funny book, Fired! You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up is Jeff’s very first book and marriage.

DEBBIE KASPER (Queen of Hearts)
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Debbie Kasper is a two time Emmy nominated writer, stand up comedian, actress and director. Her two woman show, that she co-wrote, co-directed and co-stars in, Self-Help: The Comedy is currently touring America to rave reviews. Her new show Boomer Mania is about to open in New York. She's written for The Rosie O'Donnell Show and Roseanne. Her parody book, Bras and Penus on a Date, has been translated into three languages and is sold on four continents.

TANIA KATAN (Pragmatic Osmosis)
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Tania Katan has been writing in little journals with no lines since she was 17 years old. As an adult, her journal entries have taken various forms including essays, plays and books. Katan's essays are featured in Mentsh: On Being Jewish and Queer (Alyson Publications, 2004) and Imagining Ourselves, a book developed through the San Francisco International Museum of Women in 2005. Tania is a regular performer at Comedy Central's Sit 'n Spin, and Los Angeles based Word-A-Rama. Her memoir My One-Night Stand With Cancer (Alyson Publications) will be in stores September 2005 and her solo show, based on the memoir, will premiere in Los Angeles at the Lily Tomlin/Jane Wagner Cultural Arts Center in September 2005.

Katan has received the American College Theatre Festival Award in Playwriting, the Jane Chambers Student Playwrights Award, American Conservatory Theater's David Mamet Playwriting Award, and others. Katan's plays have been seen at Connecticut Repertory Theatre, Circle Repertory Theatre, Theatre Rhinoceros, Pacific Residence Theatre, Berkeley Repertory Theatre, and other venues throughout the United States. She also runs Topless 10K's to raise money for Breast Cancer Research.

SCOTT KENEALLY (Celebrity Slut)
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Scott is a recovering Celebrity Slut who recently fled Los Angeles for the redwoods of Sonoma County. While he says he is over celebrities, he has yet to cancel his subscriptions to Us and In Touch. He dreams of the day that the paparazzi will violate his privacy. In the moments when he's not deluding himself, he writes treatments for several highly successful music video and commercial directors.

Fresh out of grad school, Scott has confessed to being a chronic bed-wetter in JANE and a wannabe hippie in NYLON. He also recently revealed his lurid fantasies involving Jessica Simpson on McSweeneys. A relentless procrastinator, he is still thinking about finishing a collection of personal stories that he hopes will someday make him famous. If you think you can help make him famous or want to learn more, please visit www.scottkeneally.com.

SARAH KHAN (Santa Claus is Coming to Town...NOT)
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Sarah Khan is an editor at Travel + Leisure magazine, and her writing has appeared in The Wall Street Journal, The New York Press, Gotham, Hamptons, Los Angeles Confidential, Metro, and DailyCandy, among other publications. In her free time she enjoys collecting disco balls, typing with two fingers, beef in all its many-splendored forms, fighting for curly-haired rights, hyperbole, and writing about herself in the third person. You can read more of her essays at http://www.bysarahkhan.com.

PAULA KILLEN (Accidentally Great); (Spring Awakening)
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Writer and performer Paula Killen has contributed essays and commentaries to, This American Life and has hosted on Metropolis for NPR/WBEZ in Chicago. Killen has a national reputation as a playwright and monologist -- premiering original works at The Goodman, The Museum of Contemporary Art, The Steppenwolf Theatre, The Cabaret Metro and Organic Theater in Chicago; La Mama, Dixon Place and PS122 in NYC, and The Actor's Gang, Zoo District Theatre, Largo, Lillian Theatre, Falcon Theatre, The Comedy Union, The Improv Olympic, Comedy Central and the HBO Workspace in L.A.

Currently, Killen is working on several television shows and her feature films -- Fully Loaded is in post production, and Insurance is in development with Gary Sanchez Productions/Paramount Pictures. She also mentors The Write Club (a writer/performer collective) that performs regularly at the Improv Olympics West in LA.

LEIGH KILTON-SMITH (The Dragon Slayer)
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Leigh Kilton-Smith, a native Texan, currently lives in Los Angeles with her husband, Adam and their ancient dog, Jonesy. She loves a good story and writes when she feels she has a good story to tell. Leigh is one of Hollywood's top acting coaches and has had the great pleasure to help bring to fruition, stories such as, The Good Girl, The Cooler, and The Constant Gardener.

When not working with actors or walking the dog or loving her husband or eating Cheetos, she is busy taking care of her children. Eighty-seven children to be exact, who reside in Tijuana, Mexico at an orphanage known as Casa Hogar Sion. This is Leigh and Adam's seventh year of a lifelong commitment to care for these beautiful children. Of all the titles accrued along the way, "Mama Leigh-Leigh" is her proudest.

JEN KIRKMAN (Cameo Kids)
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At age 21, Jen did her first stand-up comedy routine in Boston while smoking cigarettes and sitting on a stool. What a jerk. But what a long way Jen has come! After becoming an established comedian in Boston and New York City Jen has appeared on numerous late night TV shows from Comedy Central to NBC with her story-telling style of stand-up comedy. Rather than one-liners she'd prefer to draw you into her point of view first by telling you what's going on in her mind. Jen's newest project is her one-woman show, Dork Days, which has enjoyed sold-out runs at the Comedy Central Workspace and the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre in Los Angeles.

Now living in Los Angeles, you can see Jen regularly doing comedy at places like Largo and the Improv. Jen has lent her raspy voice to many cartoon shows on VH1 as well as Cartoon Network's hit, Home Movies. And Jen can write! In complete sentences! She's a regular contributor to Sit and Spin at Comedy Central's Workspace and Show and Tell at the UCB Theatre.

LA Weekly put it best when in 2004 they named Jen, "The funniest stand-up comic you've never heard of."

CECILY KNOBLER (Star Make-Lover)
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Writer, actress and stand-up comic, Cecily Knobler currently writes and hosts Live from Hollywood, a daily radio entertainment show which is broadcast live in 30 FM markets across the USA, Canada and the UK. On each show, she satirically reports "Hollywood gossip" and weekly, she reviews films. She most recently co-hosted the KZLA Morning Show with Peter Tilden, where aside from relentless banter with her co-hosts, she produced a movie review segment called "Girl on Film."

Cecily has been acting professionally since the age of seven, (if you consider doing regional Dr.Pepper commercials in Waco, Texas "professional.") Here in Los Angeles, she recently filmed her second television pilot for the E! Entertainment Network, wrote and hosted a segment on G4's Tech TV and has appeared as a commentator for various networks, including A&E, E! and VH1.

She is a regular contributor to the "fashion police" roster for US WEEKLY magazine and has had articles (and some regular columns) published in various other magazines, (some so dirty, she's not allowed to say!)

Her interests include emotionally unavailable British men and trying to get people to stop using the phrase "emotionally unavailable."

SUE KOLINSKY (Mein Health), (To Be or Not To Be Fertile)
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Sue began her career as a standup comedian, performing at clubs throughout the country. Over the years she has appeared on The Tonight Show, Bob Hope's Young Comedian's Special, and was the original host of Comedy Central's Short Attention Span Theater.

She has also written for many TV shows including Sex and the City and The Ellen Show. She had a morning talk radio show, Mason and Kolinsky on WNEW in NYC. Sue produced The Osbournes for three seasons, and is currently producing episodes of Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica for MTV.

TONYA KONG (Planes, Pains & Automobiles)
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A lifelong television junkie, Tonya recently sold her first pitch to the NBC drama, Medium. Prior to this, she worked as a civil litigation attorney. Tonya tried hard to entertain judges and juries while practicing law, but found herself limited by her clients' material. Apparently everybody loses their sense of humor when massive amounts of money are at stake.

Tonya is also a fellow in the FOX Writers Initiative, won the CAPE New TV Writer Award and is a graduate of the UCLA Professional Program in Screenwriting. She received her J.D. from the University of Washington and is admitted to the California and Hawaii State Bars.

BEVERLY KOPF (Lose Your Mother... Find Yourself)
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Beverly Kopf received an Emmy Award for writing the hit ABC talk show The View. As creator of 'Hot Topics,' Kopf produced an exciting opportunity for women to be part of the national conversation on a host of issues. For a Barbara Walters segment on Matthew Shepard, she received a GLAAD Media Award.

Since leaving The View, Kopf has continued her association with Meredith Vieira. She wrote for her when Vieira hosted the 2000 Academy Award pre-show, and wrote and produced the Intimate Portrait wraps for Lifetime Television, hosted by Vieira. Under her TVgals, Inc. banner, she co-wrote Bravo Profiles on Salma Hayek and Julie Taymor. Considered one of their most outstanding shows, The Taymor Profile was submitted by Bravo for a Peabody Award. She also co-wrote two one-hour documentaries for the Court TV series The System, and a half-hour special, Vegas Uncovered. She recently finished a stint as Kathy Hilton's writer for the new reality series, So You Want To Be A Hilton, which debuts on NBC this spring.

Kopf's first autobiographical essay was published in August, 2004 in an anthology entitled Mentsch. Her first screenplay, Unleashed, is currently being considered by several film and television producers.

JASON KORDELOS (Destination Nowhere)
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Jason Kordelos is a writer / actor living a lonely yet very tan existence in Los Angeles. He has written for Mad TV and performed his stories at Beth Lapides' "Say The Word" and New York's "The Moth" as well as for the HBO Aspen Comedy Festival and the Montreal Just For Laughs Comedy Festival. He suffered many wonderful years in New York and performed gay sketch all around. Presently he is compiling his stories for publication and launching a live gay storytelling performance extravaganza called "The Gay Agenda" with pal Scott King.

BILL KREBS (Carney, A Love Story)
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With an extremely limited capacity for achievement, it's a miracle Bill Krebs has yet to kill himself. He's weathered the pain of waiting two years for The New Yorker to notify him of his "recent" unfitting submission. Entrepreneur, Esquire, and Psychology Today have all equally acknowledged Bill's prose with unrelenting silence.

He's written for television, film, and even tackled a children's book about divorced chickens suffering from farts that smell like eggs; however, one would be hard-pressed to find a reputable source to verify any of these endeavors. Aside from taking a stab at his family's Christmas letter, Bill's main outlet for literary angst has been the financial pages of Barron's, battling corporate malfeasance -- in the "mailbag" section, a handful of times… or so.

Bill is not a team player, multi-tasker, nor is he a go-to guy. He has a zero-tolerance policy for children lacking artistic integrity, hates pets, and reserves virtually no interest in hearing anyone but himself speak. Bill is a spectacular work-in-progress, completing as little as possible with as much time as it takes. It's crucial you read his essay because his writing career will most likely be downhill from here.

HEATHER KRISTIN (Home Sweet Homeless)
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Heather Kristin, New York native, playwright/ singer/ songwriter/ violinist/actor began performing at the age of eight under the direction of Gina Wendkos at the infamous Studio 54. After being home-schooled her whole life, earning a GED, she studied at Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts, Circle in the Square, and recently graduated from The New School.

Recently, Heather's articles have been featured in The St. Petersburg Times in Russia, and on J.T. Leroy's website. She is a two-time recipient of the SAG/ John L. Dales and the AFTRA Memorial Foundation personal essay grant. MoonDance, a composition she wrote on violin and performed, was featured at The Frankfurt Film Festival. To view go to www.clauswithopf.com click on "Diner NYC." She can usually be found singing her compositions with the literary gang, The Sunday Salon in Brooklyn. Prior to her musical mischief at the Apollo Theater in Harlem, she was Kristin Davis' stand-in on Sex and the City, and kissed the cook on the reality show, The Restaurant. Heather is currently writing her memoir.

STEPHANIE KUEHNERT (Ten Years Gone)
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Stephanie Kuehnert is a student in Columbia College Chicago's Creative Writing MFA program. She got her start writing zines. Her third zine, Hospital Gown, was featured in the book Zine Scene by Hillary Carlip and Francesca Lia Block. A recent interview that she did with author John McNally appeared as the web exclusive on Virginia Quarterly Review's website and will be reprinted in Glimmer Train's "Writers Ask."

Stephanie's short stories have appeared in Hair Trigger 26 and on www.inkstains.org. Though she also bartends, has an office job, and teaches writing workshops for grade school students, most of Stephanie's focus is on writing her novel-in-stories, The Black Notebooks. The first story from the book, "Rock Gods," is available at www.toxicated.net/ theblacknotebooks. The second story, "Fairytale," will appear in Pigeon and one of the other stories "Nadia" will be excerpted in an upcoming issue of F Magazine.